You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
