At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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