I have demons in me.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
