I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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