I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
