spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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