I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
