Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
