ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
