i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
