did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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