it wasn't lemon gatorade
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
im six kinds of drunk right now
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm always down for nudity.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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