i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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