Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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