I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Moan for me like Helen Keller
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
