I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
