I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize