i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
