After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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