TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
