my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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