i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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