I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize