So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
