You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My feet surprised me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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