i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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