I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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