nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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