if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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