whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
