Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
