I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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