Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
