thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
