I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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