it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
