On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
