? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
