On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
