god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
