I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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