so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
