I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
