can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
