Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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