All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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