Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable