Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.