ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.