youre lurking in front of me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
