Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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