she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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