ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
