remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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