She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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