I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
