I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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