Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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