You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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