I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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