i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's even glitter on my cock...
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