Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
