i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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