Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
