I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
