Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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