if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
