You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
