The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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