Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this boner is exhausting
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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