We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
