I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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