yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
