And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he fucked my hip out of place.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
