Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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