Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
